In the last few days, I have seen many blogs and posts about family integration, the family integration process and the problems adults often face in this situation. My first observation is women don’t seem satisfied with this particular rule. Many positions come from stepmothers who work hard to play a role for themselves.
I have read a lot of complaints
A woman is saddened by her 9-year-old stepdaughter who introduced herself at home because her biological mother is not an active parent. It was clear in this woman’s mind that this child must be angry that they spent half their time with an incompetent birth mother and couldn’t allow her to be a full-time mother.
Although the reason seemed the simplest, the voice was not alone. In this complex process, which our society today calls the “integrated” family, many biological and older women are filled with anger, frustration and resentment.
Raising children is undoubtedly a hot topic
Organic mothers miss their children when they go out and often feel belittled or threatened when they feel like another woman has crossed the line and entered the sacred space between mother and offspring. Every other animal in nature can use its teeth and claws to solve this potential problem.
Injury to the wife or wife of the mother bear who was shocked in the forest. I would like to send my condolences to the nature lovers who mistake them for getting too close to the swallow’s nest. Even the smallest bird will not notice its size if it is found to have violated safety rules.
Once you become a mother, you will understand this basic immune response with greater compassion. When you are a vulnerable mother, there is always a protective instinct. I know that almost all mothers can understand when their instincts are revealed before they are tamed. Sometimes that’s good. We have learned that we can do a lot for our children, but we do not have the courage to do it alone. But sometimes our emotions and intuition can complicate an already complicated situation for kids.
The stepmother is not that good either. They also run the risk of feeling minimized, but instead, appear to be forced to prove themselves in some way. Your position attracts the attention and judgment of many people. Are you okay? Did this kid steal from other women? Did she spoil the child in any way? Is feeding the raging fire that may have started between the child’s biological parents? Is it active enough? Is he too active?
Everyone (including their relatives and family) will have their own opinion about what they do and how they do it. Our society really appreciates the role of mothers as mothers. Compared to mothers (biologists or stepfathers) who did not take motherhood seriously, uncontrolled fathers were criticized less. Trying to replace your biological parents is a failed battle. Trying to be together wasn’t that bad, it was also an unsuccessful struggle. In fact, the root of this cruel plan was a naive belief that had the potential for great danger.
There is no Brady Bunch theme in the real-life story
How do we handle such a sensitive subject? When we grow up, we all know that “thinking about the child’s needs and feelings first” is the right answer. When we become honest adults, we will find that we often fail to meet the requirements. What we say and believe and what we actually do may not go together. It’s time to check your ego at the door. You have nothing fancy to say in a phrase I’ve heard everywhere and everywhere .”You are not a beautiful or quirky snowflake.”
I think Tyler Durden once said
That doesn’t mean you aren’t great in your own way. I also care about self-confidence and empowerment, don’t get me wrong. This means that no matter who we are and how unique we find our situation, we are all at the same level of development and fall into the same trap as 99% of other people who are in the same situation.
People are predictable. In either case, people have few options. If we want to find a wallet on the street, the obvious choice is: deposit money B – into the wallet. Most people who are faced with this situation choose one of two options.
If you are one of a kind, you can have a wallet for dinner and enjoy red wine or a drink. In the same way, most of us will go camping A or B. How does this help you? Well … if you don’t mind pissing me off for a while, I’ll do it.) Turns out I’m opening a book in Barnes and Noble on the subject itself that we open with the family mix.